I have written and re-written this update at least four times.
Weeks ago when I started, I was writing out of frustration and sadness.
Last week when I went back to finish, I edited out a lot of the “cranky Doh” because I had calmed down.
Today I’ve erased everything and I’m starting from scratch. So here’s our adoption update:
I’m not going to share all of the details publicly, but please ask me if you’d like me to tell you privately and I’d be happy to. About a month ago we had a situation arise with the agency we had chosen to work with. After dealing with them and finding out some things we hadn’t known before, we decided that maybe we should look in a different direction.
So there we were at what seemed to be Square One all over again. My frustration came from the fact that had everything gone as planned, we would have had a baby by the holidays. I was overwhelmed with the thought of having to go back through the process of choosing an agency. It was definitely a huge step backward, but the good thing was that over the summer we had taken a few steps forward – we had completed our home study and fundraised close to $7,000.
So where are we now? Funny thing... We’re back where we started. When we first decided we wanted to try to adopt, our hearts were really moved toward a private adoption and not an agency adoption. But somehow that seemed so impossible – we’d basically have to just tell everyone that we knew that we were wanting to adopt, and hope that someone knew someone who knew someone who was choosing an adoption plan for their child. That could take forever. When we first heard about our agency, we were ecstatic. Working with them definitely meant a baby by the holidays, not within a year or two like a lot of other places. We had waited so long for a child already, deciding to work with this agency just seemed the right move.
But now it’s back to the beginning. Looking for a private adoption situation. Yes, we are telling everyone we know to please be aware of our situation and keep their ears open. We’ve also been in contact with an adoption attorney who frequently has expectant mothers come to him looking for help with a private adoption. Legally he cannot match mothers with families since he is not an agency, but he can share information. He’s done this type of work for over 25 years and we trust him completely. He’s a very kind, compassionate, Christian man who is dear friends with some friends of ours from church.
Only God knows when and if a situation will arise for us. But for now, this is our plan and we are confident in it. Am I happy to be waiting longer? Um, no. The thought of another Christmas with a bajillion little cousins, nieces, and nephews while I sit without a child of my own makes my stomach turn. But we’re doing all we can do – taking the next obedient step. Even if that step sometimes sends us backward!
