Better Than a Hallelujah

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

This song is being played over and over again on the radio lately, but for some reason it has seemed to really hit home with me. Granted, I’ve been a little extra-emotional while Tim’s been gone to Honduras, but at times the words of this song have sent me into tears. I know that a lot of what hits me about this song is that I relate so much to “pouring out my misery” to God. This decision to adopt was not an easy one to come to, and it definitely hasn’t come without some heartbreak. My whole life was planned around being a wife and mother. I never, ever thought I’d be “that girl” or we’d be “that couple”. Much of the past few years have been spent pouring out the “honest cries of our breaking hearts” about not being able to become pregnant.

The words of the song may seem a little strange. Our miseries and cries of broken hearts are sweeter to God’s ears than a “Hallelujah”? Yes, sometimes I think they are. What is better than honesty with ourselves and with our Father? He knows our pains and our trials, even better than we do. I think sometimes He longs for us to be honest. Not that he wants us to hurt, but there’s so much to gain by being broken and having to depend solely on Him.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. –2 Cor. 12:9

So many times I’ve tried to act as if everything is okay; tried to make everything okay. Pretended that the hurt wasn’t there or wasn’t as bad. And one day it sort of hit me. My weakness gives the Lord the opportunity to work in me and through me. The more I try to handle it all myself, the more I close Him off from the opportunity to love me. I can’t make it through this life on my own. I shouldn’t try to, and my Father doesn’t want me to.

Hence, the words of this song. God hears a melody when we finally admit that we are broken and hurting. When we finally quit being prideful and selfish, and finally go to Him with nothing to lose and everything to gain. When we finally say, “Okay, Lord, this hurts. Hear my cries. I give up so that You may take over.”

And He’s there. He’s been there… waiting… all along. Hallelujah!